THE STORY OF MY MIDDLE FINGER
This was written long before. I feared publishing this.
DISCLAIMER: Any characters in this story if found resembling with any one of my readers, it's not deliberate. purely coincidental. And the story demands it. The whole thing has to be taken in an (south) Indian frame of reference.
This is not muSICKal, but it has got to do something with ma muSICKal life. u may wonder what has it got to do with it?
This ain’t silly at least for me.....................
It was a Sunday. As usual it wasn’t morning. It was evening.......Na ..................... I must tell something before it.
You know what? The middle finger is the icon of a culture... it is like one f the best ways in which you can express your disagreement. It’s indeed one f the many. It’s one of a kind.... but what the heck? That doesn’t matter. I dunno other best ways of showing disagreement. Even if you say that u can teach me some, I can just show you my middle finger and say you “f!@# off”. How else do you think I can use loads of phrases using the most gifted word in English, the F-word? It’s indeed a ‘u know who’ word.
So mid finger is the sign of man in us. It’s the right answer for sarcasm. Then why majority, the multitude dislikes it? Again my mid finger rises. Don’t even dream of a doubt, it’s voluntary.
We’ve always played the role of reformers in our SOCIETY. We thought to reform the purpose of mid finger show. Better say me myself without even having a meeting or discussion with other members of the reformers’ union, just made a reformation. The story (sad) follows:
I made the same mid finger show as a means of greeting my buddies. Gradually it turned out to be the only way of greeting. Slowly I was ‘famous’ for the reform. Lots f my friends grew jealous. They’d conspiracies against me in store. I strived all those. And I won. I was once again f!@#in happy. Instead of showing a single mid finger I even used two f my hands simultaneously. Won’t it be tiresome? Still then I did it. Won’t u feel proud if it were u? Absof!@#inglutely you’ll. Same way I too felt it. I self patted on my back. I felt like I cud do something more. So much more than this.
During the early days of the great reform, I felt for the opposite sex. What will they feel? They are the social co-workers. There must be harmony. It ran through my mind. It disturbed me so much.
The encouraging half of my cerebral hemisphere had the answer. I decided to do it. But then came the time for creating the right situation for the drama. Yep man drama. I waited n waited n waited. But then came the hero, here our hero does the role of a bugger; oops I don’t mean what the word means. I mean he bugs me a lot. So he was sitting with the great feminist of the era. Miss Always. My friend said she’s a womenist. Whatever! . God save men. Hero bugged me once. I’m patient. So I at once turned at him and was about to refer to his great grandfather. Then I saw our Miss Always with him n I went mum. SPARK!!! Shit always doesn’t happen. He bugged me again. I was no more patient. I turned rather fast. Threw away the pen in my hand and then ............ and then showed the great celebrated mid finger. He was uluppless(new word not yet included in the dictionary of mean words). He smiled at me. the smile made me believe that I was not alone on the path of reform...
I wish u too had watched the chammal(new word not even included in Malayalam dictionary) on the face of our Miss Always. She turned away with a very accepting smile on her ‘tree-face’ (maramontha).
I n hero felt like having accomplished something. Na ... a very great thing... a milestone accomplished.
That’s all about history. Now the true story begins. Believe me the great celebrated comedian Supandi D boss lives in the Avaran’s where I too have got the enviable opportunity to live. The Avaran’s is believed to be the centre of all reforms. One day when Suppu (that’s how we call him with love) came in, I as unusual showed up both ma mid fingers. He smiled and showed the same back. I thought it was over then he came near me. I’d not stopped the act of showing the greeting symbol so as to emphasize welcome. He came nearer I was least bothered. He came closer. I was happy. I dreamed of a FRIENDLY hug. But what happened next still remains....... OUCH...... it aches so much.
He twisted my tender finger till crackling noises were heard. He’s so merciless and mean.
There the truth also ends. I’ve not practiced this weird method of greeting since then. I learned lots of lessons as I usually do.
Now it is vacation and I fought for letting me learn music. I went for music keyboard practice. The first week I had to do so much of finger exercises. I started doing as my instructor told me. Then I experienced the pain. It was torturing me. Instructor asked me “what happened?”. I humbly answered “Sir, I can’t fold my finger so much...... ‘cuz......... both ma (mid) fingers have injured while I played volley ball”. He told me to consult a doctor. He believed n still believes that I’m a skilled volley ball player. And first lie based on ma mid finger was born.
Lie is shit... I have to say it.