Probability(Love=1|n=24.75)=?

Probability(Love=1|n=24.75)=?

Still, i feel the absence... every sad Bollywood song has its worst effects on me... and ghazals sound like, they were composed just for me...

“dil mera cheen kar, pehale dil meim raha....

phir kisi aur ko, usne apna kaha....

usko maloom hein, kitna tadpa hoon mein

usko maloom hein, meine kya kya saha.....

sharm aati nahi phir bhi usko zara....

isliye besharam behaya kehdiya....”

It was a bad time for the Love, the 75% of me, when I got admission for my PG...

I thought I would have so much fun and that I would forget all those bewafai ka kahani once I’m in... I’m trying to..

But the P(I enjoy | I’m doing my PG) was and is very small.. This very specific subject, which I thought never to get bothered about is just near my mouth,,, aargh.. I hate probability.. There were days when P(i bunked probability classes) was very high... But this subject has been bothering me, ever since I'm in for the course... I once had a laughing time with some of the profs at IITB when they asked me some probability.. I said, “sir please,... I hate probability!!!”. They were exclaimed... one asked, “You HATE probability??”, “Yes sir, I do...” they laughed, so did I ... but I was not selected!!!.. Cheats... Now I doubt their laughs...

Three subjects are based on this bad thing,,, one among them is OK, and I believe I can tame it soon.. cuz it's based on intuitive probability rather than absolute probability.. Now don't ask me what it is... if I start explaining, this blog won't suffice...;P

chumma...

Leave it... that's the new scenario...

Our question is P(Love=1|n=24.75)=?

What I meant is, I’m still missing this Love part..  I had this flash of what is called Love... just a flash... I was silently loud enough that the once believed yang of mine, just read it,, and that was the end for her... and I stopped this after 305 days exactly... 60 more days and i could celebrate, the one way break-up anniversary. But due to repeated advices and some discouragements I quit it.. I'm just a man, not divine... nor am I a toy.. I don't say, that was infatuation... that wasn't. I can now differentiate...

The other matter that matters to me a lot is that one of my batch mates at bachelors, got married recently.. I'm happy for him. Very happy.. Sad for me, who believes that finding one's love AND settling with it is the greatest tool for one's success in this world and the Hereafter. The other thing that matters more than that mattered a lot is the marriage of my junior friend during my bachelors.... lucky man....

There were things that mattered this way... two of my school friends father one child each... just a year older local friends of mine are all married except one and all of them have one or two children..... and this one, is not bothered about his just younger bro, who too wishes to marry soon....

The number 24.75 is my age.. And i feel it's high time that I at least got tied to someone... and this is my view alone, you may or may not have some other views,,,

I still blame it on capitalism and related wounds that has given parents of this era a notion that someone really need to bring money home in sacks to get married... i don't say that my parents are that way.. but they really think that i must bring home some money, so that i can marry...  i was explaining the problem by exaggerating it...  but there should be some solution to this...  this social blind belief that marriage means just handing over someone's daughter to someone who has lots of money... yaar money comes and goes.. Why bother...????

THE MOTHER OF ALL FEELINGS

And this time, I'm posting after a long time, I've found the real meaning of the two words that had been confusing me so so much... guess what? I'd been researchin!!!


I had learnt it from the best of the teachers... life... YoU were the reason... the reason which left a vacuum in my heart when YoU left.. The reason that always made a cause to all my doings.. The only reason that was above all my emotions... The reason, God showed me when I asked Him, of True Love, the mother of all feelings... The reason that told me to live for Love... The reason for everything I did after I found the reason.


Lemme tell you, Love is the mother of all feelings... better than explaining it here, check it out for yourself... You'll know it. I'll just give you an example... 


Love denied is pain as a pleasure (proved!!), Love accepted is happiness (wishing this too be proved!!). The pain in the first case leads to anger of a kind (don't read it as enemity.. it's not... it's the anger a husband feels to his wife, the anger that a father feels to his son...)... And it ultimately leads to a kinda selfish destructive mentallity, which is exactly when the person has to be taken to Mental assylums, cuz, there he'll be able to meet sane people who understand Love and never get it.....


Wait, I dunno the happiness part!!!


Now lemme tell you how to differentiate between true Love and Infatuation (damned!!)

LOVE: You feel it even in her absence. It controlls everything in you.. I mean it.. every single thing you do will have its effect... even your sexual feelings (secret!!). The way you behave, the way you turn away from a group talking non-sense, the way you don't feel anything for an extremely sexy ad, the way you don't stare at girls inviting them, the way you talk to your relatives, the way you pray, the way you get closer to God, the way you find happiness by texting her, the way you start praying in the early mornings (Muslims), the way you discuss your religion with her, the happiness when she asks you to call her up in the morning for prayer, the happiness it gives when she gives you a call on a day of celebration (that's exactly when the celebration starts!!!), the sadness that comes to ur mind thinking that she will have to regret if she denied  you, ETC.... (not the end of the list ;) ) are just some of the symptoms of Love. Actual Love is more than all these... It's something related to the soul and I dunno how to decode it.. Love is the real elixir.


INFATUATION: I call it damned, cuz, some people find it as an excuse to not falling in Love. They blame Love to be Infatuation... not their mistake too.. it's mine, I'd not published this post earlier:p. So this infatuation is just a rise in your heartbeats, IN HER PRESENCE. It can't change you... It can just give you some extra heartbeats and loss of some money.... Time erases it cent percent, but I just dunno if Love can be erased without any trace...

ഫുള്‍ വിറ്റ്: നീ ഒരു ബോണ്‍ പുതിയാപ്പിള ആണ്... എന്റെ ഒരു സുഹൃത്ത് ( അധ്യാപകനും കൂടിയാണദ്ധേഹം) എന്നെ കുറിച്ച് പ്രതികരിച്ചത്... താങ്ക് യൂ മാഷേ... സന്തോഷായി!!!